The Wammy Game
by The Wammy Boys
Summary: L, Mello, Matt, and Watari are back from the dead. Why so? To play The Wammy Games. Sorta, kinda, maybe crackfic. Read at your own risk.
1. Check mate ghost

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or The Hunger Games

Author's note: Er... Yes I'm Kindell. Yes, I know you hate reading about made up characters, but I'm only there for chapter one. Promise. I disappear after that and then it's all 100% Wammy. L, Near, Mello, Matt, and a little Watari, maybe Light. I'm still contemplating on whether or not to add the actual Hunger Game characters; that might make things interesting. And yes, I know, Giovanni's one of the Wammies too, but I just don't want to add him. I give him to myself as a present; not in _that_ way. I only want Matt.. and Mello... and L... and Near.. and Light... and Mikami... and Matsuda in _that_ way. Hmm, I might just take either Mikami or Matsuda in _that _way.

Oh right... I'm supposed to get out of this story. Well, just read. And review. Again, this is the only chapter I'm in, I promise . No more Kindell... *sigh*

* * *

The great and amazing Kindell-sensei climbed up the steep stairs leading to the SPK headquarters, followed by Lidner who was swearing under her breath. Kindell turned around and smiled at Lidner.

"Aww. You're so pretty Lid-chan!" she squealed, turning back and hugging Lidner. Lidner pushed Kindell off, her face staying rigid.

_Little..._ Lidner was seriously POed, this was the first time she had seen another girl prettier than her. Sure, Misa was cute, but only cute, and Takada was just too stupid to even consider. What made Lidner's dilemma even worse was how freakishly nice, sweet, thoughtful, smart, and kind Kindell was. It was impossible to hate her!

Reaching the top of the stairs, Lidner held open the door for Kindell, who skipped inside cheerfully. Lidner slammed the door behind herself, glaring daggers at the back of Kindell's hair, which I must say, was covered with the most glorious, lustrous hair one could imagine.

"Near-chan!" Kindell squealed, throwing her arms around the white-haired kid playing chess with... himself?

"K-Kindell," Near blushed a deep red, making Lidner take a double take. _Did he just... blush?_ Lidner shook her head and sunk into a chair.

"Shouldn't you be in school right now. I heard you're the new #1." Near asked in a voice that was considerable higher than usual.

"I graduated last month, remember?" Kindell picked up one of her chess pieces. "Hey Near, I get to be L after you die right?"

Near nodded.

"Then don't die."

Near nodded again.

"But in case you do, I get to keep Giovanni."

Near looked over at Giovanni, "You're hers."

Giovanni stared at Near, furrowing his eyebrows. "But Near... You're still alive."

"The girl said she wants you, so she gets you." Near said matter-of-factly, turning back to his chess game. He set up the board, positioning Kindell in the opposite seat. He moved his right-most pawn 2 places; Kindell did the same. He moved his knight where the pawn used to be; Kindell did the same.

"What do you want Kindell? I know there's a reason for why you're here." Near asked impatiently.

Kindell widened her eyes, "Aww. I just came to see how you were doing oniisama."

Near stared at her blankly, "Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"I'm not your brother."

"But it sounds cute!"

"Yes we get it, you want to be like Misa-chan because of that one time Lawliet said he could fall for her. Right?"

Kindell nodded, getting momentarily teary-eyed. "Oniitan, you get me so well." she hugged Near.

"Yeah," Near paused, "You can never be like Misa."

Kindell stood up in her chair, all forms of cutesy-ness draining from her face(She was still gorgeous though). "Near, I really don't think contradicting me is a smart move on your part. I really dont." Dark auras seemed to be fuming off of her, and at that point Lidner finally could somewhat believe that this girl was the smartest person in Wammy academy, maybe in the world second to Near.

Near wasn't scared though; he just looked amused. "Really? Last time I checked, you're not one to fall heads over heels over a man like Light, and you're especially not one to let him use you. Maybe that's just me though, or maybe you've just changed since we last met."

Kindell shut up after this, and sat back down, returning to the chess board. Near attacked her knight with his bishop; she moved her other knight into attacking range of his bishop. He moved his bishop three squares diagonal, the knight followed him, and he was surrounded from all directions. Well, almost all. He went down diagonal as far as he could, landing on Kindell's bishop. Too late. In one move of her rook, she had his queen. Near cursed under his breath; he'd gotten rusty.

"Kindell, you still haven't answered my question."

She shrugged. "Watari sent me."

Near groaned. "This is not the time for jokes."

"I'm not joking."

He looked into her face; it definitely didn't look like she was kidding, but then, it was hard to tell with a Wammy. "Watari is dead. You know that better than I do."

"He _was_ dead." she corrected, "he had to come back to life for the Wammy Games."

Near stared at her like she was mental, when suddenly the room ground started shaking. Everything went black, and Near and Kindell arrived at Wammy Academy. Near looked around, searching for Lidner and Giovanni, but they weren't only other person there was Watari, who sat in front of them, a cigar in his mouth. He winked at Kindell, and she disappeared. In her place appeared the rest of the graduated Wammy boys, back from the dead. Near looked over at each of them in turn, first at L, then at Matt, and at last, at Mello.

Watari rose from his chair, pulling out his pipe. "Let the First Annual Wammy Games begin."


	2. Immah firin mah chocolate!

Near was clutching onto his chair, wondering why there were no puzzles around. There were always puzzles in Watari's office! Something was fishy. Wait.. He'd just magically poofed into a room full of dead people. Maybe that was a little higher on the fishy-o-meter. _Where the hell is Kindell now?_

"Kindell is dead." Matt said between puffs of his cigarette. "I saw her in heaven right before we dropped in here. Just for a second. Pretty sad. She'd gotten so cute."

"Will you not talk about my little sister like that?" Mello snarled.

"Aww. Are you jealous?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Near how did you die?" L asked, popping a chocolate covered strawberry into his mouth. So L had his sweets, Matt had his cigarette, Mello had his chocolate, but Near didn't have his puzzles? How was this fair?

"I'm not dead." Near said blankly, looking up at the ceiling wondering why logic had suddenly abandoned him.

"Then why are you here with all us dead people?"

"I'm assuming you have all come back to life."

"You assumed correct." Watari removed his hat and sat himself down in his seat. "Starting this year, you will partake in the... WAMMY GAMES!" Streamers dropped in from the ceiling, flowing around the room. L lifted one in his hand; the streamers were pieces of torn notebook paper.

"So what's the objective of the game?" Mello asked, biting off a piece of chocolate.

"Quite simple. You will all be put into a giant artificial environment fabricating the shinigami realm. You will each be given a death note and a shinigami. To win, you must be the last one left alive." Watari answered.

"So we have to kill each other? I have to kill my sweet Mello?" Matt stroked Mello's cheek slightly.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE!" Mello reached into Watari's desk and pulled out a picture album consisting entirely of pictures of Kindell. He opened it to a page at random which featured Kindell in a yellow summer dress, looking lovely and graceful and kissing a butterfly. "Don't you want this Matt?"

"Yes." Matt said, his eyes wide. He reached towards the album longingly, but Mello pulled it away.

"Only if you promise to stop."

"Yes! Fine! Just give me the album!" Mello dropped the album in Matt's arms and turned back to Watari.

"So when are we going in?"

"Why are you asking me?" Watari asked.

"Yeah why are you asking the perv?" Matt echoed.

"How am _I_ the perv?" Watari questioned.

"You had Kindell's picture album in your desk to start with. Pedobear."

"Excuse me-" "Let's just get on with this." L interrupted, sucking on a lollipop.

"YOU! You are my rival in love." Matt pointed a finger at L.

"Kindell's dead Matt. I think the only rival in love you have now is god." L tossed the empty stick to his lollipop into the trashcan and pulled out another one to suck on.

"LET'S JUST GET ON WITH THIS!" Mello shouted, kicking Matt in the… ^.^... Matt sunk to the ground in pain, holding onto Kindell's photo album for dear life.

"My Kindell, my sweet sweet Kindell. Only thoughts of you get me through my dreary, painful-Ow, oh so painful life."

"By thoughts you mean wet dreams." L interjected, sucking on his third lollipop.

"She's. My. SISTER." Mello tossed his chocolate bar to the ground. Everyone instantly quieted down. If something drove Mello so far as to tossing even his chocolate bar to the ground, then well.. _heh_.

"Ah, Now you're all fired off to kill. Head on to your rooms and rest up; tomorrow's the big day." Watari picked up his hat and set it back on his head, exiting the office.

"Wait..." Mello said.

"Yes child?" Watari asked, tipping his hat at the blonde.

"If our only means of killing each other are the death notes, well, we're in the shinigami realm without any technology or such, how do we figure out anyone's name?"

"You will figure that part out." And with that, Watari departed.

**The next Morning:**

Mello awoke to find that Matt's arms were around him.

**...**

"What was that noise?" L asked between a sip of tea.

"It sounded like Mello." Near said, his eyes focused on the 25-piece animal puzzle in front of him. This place was driving him nuts. It took him four hours to just find puzzles, and now it turned out to be but a stack of the things he used to solve at age two.

"Hmm. I wonder," L muttered as he added another sugar cube to his tea. Just then Matt walked out immersed in the Nitendo DS in his hand.

_Matt has his video games and I can't find one single good puzzle? _Near thought bitterly. For the first time in his life he wanted to throw something, destroy something. Why was this? Was it _emotions_? Whoa.

When Mello walked out, shirtless, things felt even worse to Near. Maybe it was everyone randomly coming back to life after so many years. Nothing was making sense. It was like logic had deserted him. How could people come back to life?

"Hey Near, you okay?" Mello asked, nomming on a chocolate kiss. Near tossed aside the puzzle piece in his and and rolled around to face Mello.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"WOOOHOOO! TAKE THAT BOWSER! AND BOWSER JR." Matt shouted, dropping the DS on the couch.

*silence*

The silence was stifled by none other than Watari. He ambled in to the kitchen holding his top hat firm on his head. He smiled widely and turned to the boys.

"Your match starts very soon. I should tell you right now however, you will not be alone in this fight. You will each have a mentor who will help you throughout the game. As well as a mentor, you will have supporters who will donate money to you in order for your mentor to send you supplies."

"S-supporters?" Near asked.

"Yes supporters. All of your fangirls." Watari answered.

"We have.. fangirls?"

* * *

**Haha, I know it's not too long but I'm going to slowly build this thing up and kill all of you with anticipation. That's my revenge on you guys for making me get rid of my glorious MeMe.**


End file.
